Change; That Difficult 'C' Word
Change divides our logical from our emotional thinking. Our logical thinking tends to welcome change easier than our emotional side. A harsh example shows this best. The doctor says,
“We need to do a biopsy on that lump.” And we hear this internal dialog in our heads, “Okay, let’s find out what this thing is,” says our logical brain.
“No! No! No! I want my Mommy! I feel punched in the stomach. I want to go home, now!” our emotions rage.
Then with a modicum of composure we say,
“Okay. Let’s do it quickly and get it over with.”
At work, we hear that the partners are stepping down so the new operating group can expand the organization. The change has been in process for two years, but the surprise comes when the change over happens earlier than expected. The organization is moving away from a cozy family feel to a steel and glass corporate feel. It’s necessary for expansion. Logically everyone can agree, but emotionally, they feel like lost children in the woods. They want to keep the safe comfort of the old structure. It’s emotionally painful. Internally we must bring our whole self along through this change and that means acknowledging the emotional inner child who says,
“I’m scared…I want my “binky.” (pacifier)
It’s a myth that people pass through the stages of change neatly and end up in the land of milk and honey. One common euphemism suggests we get on board the train and later step off at our chosen destination. The reality is that big change is messy. Not only that, change comes in clusters with rumblings of further big changes. After the storm winds die down, policies, focus, locations and people often dot the landscape.
There is a prevalent fallacy that change is good and staying where you are is bad. Businesses must change to grow and gain a competitive market edge. People evolve and adjust as they move through life stages. However, in our culture frequency of change and numerous change clusters happen with greater consequences. At some point, increased change with high stress levels and complexities crosses the line of inhumane acceleration. How do we define that line and how do we humanize the change process?
Perhaps we need to look at the internal reorientation process that we go through during an external change and give people the language and skills to move through that process.[1]
Is it possible for businesses to decrease major changes in the workplace and evolve to endure? Is winning really everything as we understand “winning” in the common vernacular? What if the true winner is the organization that creates a solid reputation over time, offers stability and endures? Persistence is under-rated.
Three skills to help us get our emotional bearings in a challenging event are curiosity, agendas and people. Our perceptions and agendas about a change event vastly influence our behavior more than our ideals. One essential quality to move us through an uncertain phase in the change process is the ability to become curious. Curiosity is the stuff of genius. When we’re curious about people we automatically listen to them better. When we’re curious about a situation, we give it time to discover ways of improving it.
Curiosity opens up our imagination, helps us solve problems and allows us to focus on the subject rather than the clock. Our curiosity draws us like a magnet and immerses us into a project until our fascination with it becomes satisfied or complete. Develop curiosity about the adventure change offers, the clean slate, and new possibilities. Like building a new house, our input shapes the structure, adjusts procedures, and allows us to place our hand prints in cement for the new order. If you think you don’t have curiosity think of any toddler you ever met. They soak up information with their curiosity about everything. The moment they wake up they’re off on a discovery mission. That’s the kind of curiosity I mean. And if you think there is nothing fascinating about the new situation or the task at hand, remember, every person and everything has a story. Find the story connected with it and let that help you build up your curiosity.
Agenda plays a key role in getting through change as well. If my personal agenda drives me to look for all the things that won’t work, you can be sure, I’ll find them. However, if my agenda drives me to influence the changing environment to benefit my customers, my workgroup and myself, just call me Odysseus (hero of the Trojan War and the persevering traveler in The Odyssey). I’m there. Our agendas become a consciously driven force that compels us to take action. My agenda is to shop for groceries because I’m hungry and my family expects to eat today or my agenda is that I must drive to work even through traffic because that’s part of my job. That’s what I do.
Agendas differ from attitudes because I can have the same agenda while my attitude and feelings change. Maybe I drive to work one morning and my agenda is to get there on time and safely with my usual coffee. I pull in for coffee. My attitude perks. Then the car in front of me orders 15 coffees and 5 egg sandwiches. My attitude stinks. My agenda remains the same. I’m stopping for coffee on my way to work. Only now, my mood downloads into ugly and irritates me for the rest of my drive. But then, I get to work, pull right into my space, the coffee is excellent, the security guard smiles with a friendly wave and my mood backs off the earlier disturbing incident. My attitude persists that rude people deserve to get flat tires but my feelings are back on track and my agenda got me to work on time. Give your agenda the green light to steer you through the change evolution.
Our friends and co-workers surround us with support and reassurance. The process binds people together.
In work groups if one person receives a pink slip, the rest of the group try to make sense from it and pull together even more. Why, because our group identity shifted. Whether for the best or for the worse the group changed because a group is defined by the sum of its members and its contribution. People come together in tough situations because we understand that sharing redistributes the impact of grief, frustration, and fright.
Knowing we’re not alone strengthens our resolve to forge a head. When the lab results came back positive, I felt so alone and frightened, even though each year, about 185,000 women in the United States get breast cancer.[2] Talking to other women who survived boosted my spirits and encouraged me along my recovery journey. I needed to feel their emotional support, as though figuratively we linked arms in mutual determination.
Identifying what we can control when everything else is up for grabs always brings us back to ourselves, our attitudes, agendas, curiosity and other responses. These ruggedly built-to-last characteristics support endurance.
[1] William Bridges, Ph. D. Transition, The Personal Path Through Change Inscape Publishers ã 2000
[2] U.S. Food and Drug Administration
