Three Camels

PYREX: Did you remember to bring extra sandals?

FRED: Real Camels wear Herman Survivors.

CRYSTAL: I just had a pedicure! Sand is so abrasive, hope I don't break a nail.

FRED: Did you remember to bring your compass?

PYREX: We don't need a compass, we're following that star.

CRYSTAL: I don't want to get lost. There isn't a shopping mall for miles.

PYREX: Did you pack your gifts? I'm bringing Frankincense, a gift from Fire.

CRYSTAL: I'm bringing Gold, a gift from Earth.

PYREX: What are you bringing, Fred?

FRED: Fruitcake. A gift from Aunt Ethel.

CRYSTAL: Everyone knows the Wise Men's gifts were Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh.

FRED: I couldn't find any Myrrh.

PYREX: Do you realize how that's going to sound when clergy all over the world read from the Holy Scriptures, Gold, Frankincense, and Fruitcake?

FRED: Our Masters are always searching for God. How much longer before we get there?

CRYSTAL: Why did your Master name you Pyrex?

PYREX: Because I can stand the desert heat. It's tough being a Magi's Camel.

CRYSTAL: But it is a status symbol.

PYREX: If you want status you go on a pilgrimage.

FRED: What's a pilgrimage?

CRYSTAL: ...a long journey to look for God. And sometimes you can find the cutest little boutiques along the way.

PYREX: You began to have a deeper understanding of spiritual things.

FRED: Sounds like a headache.

CRYSTAL: People seek God, because they want their lives to matter, to know there is a Supreme plan, and a Nordstroms nearby.

PYREX: People are like a puzzle with a missing piece.

CRYSTAL: It's so sad, like a beautiful brooch missing a diamond chip.

PYREX: Speaking of diamonds, look at that star.

CRYSTAL: I love sparkles.

PYREX: We have an important task, to carry our three Kings to find the Christ Child.

FRED: I could use a change of scenery.

CRYSTAL: The scenery reminds me of Vanilla, Butterscotch, Caramel, Milk Chocolate, Mocha...

PYREX: Stop. You're making me hungry.

PYREX: Look to your left, there's a big wind storm.

CRYSTAL: I hate getting sand in my mouth.

PYREX: That's why camels spit.

CRYSTAL: I prefer to rinse, thank you.

PYREX: The star seems to be lowering over that small town ahead.

CRYSTAL: "Bethleham City Limits, Population 300 and 1." And the paint is still wet! Oooh, I just love babies!

PYREX: Kneel down. We are experiencing a miracle in history. "And you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger."

CRYSTAL: How disgusting! It doesn't even have a bed-skirt!

FRED: Look! Our Masters are presenting their gifts.

PYREX: The parents are smiling. They call the baby, “Jesus.”

CRYSTAL: I wonder if that halo is 24 carot?

FRED: Hey... Do you see that? Where did my Master get the Myrrh? I couldn't find it.

CRYSTAL: What a trip, I'm starving.

FRED: Want some fruitcake?

PYREX: It's a miracle.

FRED: What, the fruitcake?

PYREX: No. God in flesh. The Savior of the World.

...

Peace and Joy!

Judy